


In Good Hands

by Findarato



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5534510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Findarato/pseuds/Findarato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"It’s just a Saitou thing. A Saitou problem."</i>
</p><p> </p><p>(Written for hakuouki secret santa 2015, with the request "Chizuru and Hijikata taking care of Saitou.")</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Good Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keraaminenkettu](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=keraaminenkettu).



> **Disclaimer:** Hakuouki doesn’t belong to me.  
>  **Rating:** T/PG-13  
>  **Spoilers:** Saitou’s route  
>  **Timeframe:** After Shinpachi and Harada have left, but before Saitou and Chizuru leave.  
>  **A/N:** Three parts to this fic—Part I is Chizuru, Part II is Saitou, and Part III is Hijikata.

**.**

**I.**

One doesn't take breaks in life, much less in war. Saitou sees few reasons for days off. It could technically be said he's never taken one, unless you counted recovery from injuries. It makes no difference whether or not he's human or rasetsu, the latter take care of injuries. Things can always be worse. He could be suffering from paralysis or mutilated limbs, or whatever other terrible things made people incapable of being useful. Some lighted-headedness is fine, as is a little thirst. He'd be fine.

That's probably what Saitou thinks, and precisely where he and Chizuru disagree.

She wants to shake him, punch him hard enough to knock him out…or something. Anything to keep him from trying to sit up and convince her that he's well enough.

"I'll sleep a short while, and then I'll be back up." He stumbles over the last few words, catches himself, and looks frustrated.

"Not a short while. A long while." Chizuru fidgets, still wanting to hold him down. "Until the sun goes down."

"That's too long."

"It isn't. You need it. At least today."

"Four hours is enough for me to recover from this."

She shakes her head. "You need to rest longer than that, or tomorrow might be even worse." If begging him to do this works, she'd do it. "Please, Saitou-san."

He looks at her, and then at his desk.

"I can only do so much. I'm…I'm not a cure."

_I can't do your paperwork for you, but I can hope to help you feel more energised._

Saitou sighs. "Until tonight," he finally says. "And no later."

She barely hides her relief. "I can let Hijikata-san know."

"No, I believe he is out. When he returns, I will have everything completed."

"I believe you will." Chizuru reaches over to adjust his pillow. "You always do."

"You needn't stay; I'm not sick."

Her hand stops. "You might become sick, at the rate you push yourself." He felt a little warm, even. "You don't look well, so I think I should stay."

Saitou frowns up at her. "Is your ear all right?" he suddenly asks.

"My ear?"

He reaches for her chin, gently pushing it to reach under her bangs. His fingers are slightly rough, and she feels her face growing hot. "Where you let me drink your blood."

"It's—it's all right." Her hand closes over his, before he can touch anything more. "I heal fast, remember?"

He pulls his hands away slowly. "So you do." It looks like he would say more, but she doesn't want to hear it at the moment.

"I'll stay until you're asleep, and wake you up if you don't." Chizuru adjusts his blanket this time. "I promise."

This seems to satisfy him, and he closes his eyes. "All right."

She sits there until her feet are numb and until his chest rises and falls with a gentle, slow rhythm, before she leaves to have some hot water on hand. Everyone could also use a meal, and there's some cleaning still has to do. Yet all of that still doesn't compare with the amount of work Saitou faces everyday. He wakes up so early that it's hard even for her, and stays up past midnight and well past the time she sleeps. Not even normal humans could pull that sort of schedule and be at their full strength.

"Maybe I should tell Heisuke-kun…" No, that wouldn't quite work, because of conflicting times and Heisuke has his own share of duties and worries. Is there anyone else? Just her?

_I'm not even sure just how I ended up spending so much time with him._

The water boils over and she hastily removes the pot.

_But if I'm the only one, I hope I'm doing all right._

Worrying about people is a specialty, but actually being able to do something for them is harder. Much harder. She keeps an eye outside, until it's dark and about dinnertime.

 _I'd rather you sleep longer. But a promise is a promise._ She slides the door open and walks in.

"Saitou-san," she calls out as she draws near, "it's dark."

He doesn't stir.

"Saitou-san?" A little louder, and she ventures to shake his shoulder. He doesn't budge.

Chizuru shakes him a little more forcefully, and raises her voice again.

Still nothing. She looks a little closer, and sees a thin sheen of sweat on his face; upon contact, his forehead is hot, but his hands are a normal temperature…yet why doesn't he get up? She runs back to get a basin of cold water and a towel, and washes his face, but he simply lies there, unaffected. Times like these, she wishes she actually knew how to care for people professionally. Is he merely tired, or something worse? Did it have anything to do with him being a rasetsu?

Time passes, and she alternates between cooling him off, pacing, sitting, and going outside. There's no one around—people are busy or out, and she doesn't know this area well enough to go off running. What if he dies from overworking? That seems like a terrible way, to be so exhausted and depart in sleep.

She huddles down, the worst thoughts in her mind that she tries to quell with prayers and hopes. Saitou's face is so pale, but his breathing is at least steady, which keeps her from panicking.

It seems like an eternity when she hears Hijikata's voice. Chizuru practically falls out of the room, tripping and running to find him.

"Hijikata-san!"

There was a time she wouldn't approach him, and some days, he still gives her pause, but tonight, there couldn't be a more welcome sight.

"Chizuru?"

"Saitou-san, he—" She draws in air; she didn't even run much distance, but fear made her breathless. "He won't wake up."

The look on his face goes from puzzlement to dismay. "What?"

"I told him to rest because he collapsed and he needed—" She stopped. "He needed to sleep, so I made him, but now he seems to be unable to wake up."

Hijikata's footsteps are loud and fast; they're instantly there and he's bending over Saitou, calling his name and trying to rouse him.

"Should we call a doctor?"

"May or may not help."

"Would…Sannan-san be better?"

"No."

She watches Hijikata smoothing Saitou's hair, and strangely, breathes a little easier. "I don't understand…"

"I think I do."

"Has something like this happened before?"

"Sort of. It's Saitou, after all." Hijikata unbuttons his coat and shrugs out of it. "He has this bad habit that I think people envy, but he doesn't seem to know when it's time to take a break."

"Are you sure that's just it?"

"Would it make you feel better if I told you he once didn't sleep for four days straight?"

"It does." Her grip on her sleeves loosen, and she smoothes at the fabric. "It sounds like he didn't change."

"Just a bit."

"A bit?"

"He listened to you. Last time, he collapsed and nothing would get him up. I think you stopped him before he reached that point." He finds Saitou's wrist and presses his thumb to it. "It was much worse last time."

Chizuru lets out a shaky breath, but she notices Hijikata hasn't let go of Saitou, despite his own words. "I wish he wouldn't do that to himself."

"Join the crowd. Everyone was worried."

It makes sense, what he said. She hasn't been around as long as everyone, but she's picked up on various nuances and how they showed concern. Saitou wasn't the one to be dragged into loud, drunken hugging or that kind of camaraderie, but people always respected him, and while they listened to him, they didn't speak formally. He's either "Saitou" or "Hajime-kun," with only a few people using "Saitou-san."

"Are you crying?"

"Ah…" She blinks. "I was scared. I thought the worst." She bows. "I'm sorry if I worried you for no reason."

"Chizuru." Hijikata pats her on the head, making her look up. "You were right in coming to me. If you hadn't, he might've pretended this was nothing, and I might still be giving him too much." His smile was tight, but not unkind. "I've been busy myself too, with all the shit that goes down in the Shinsengumi. Didn't pay enough attention."

"No, I…" She breathes deeply and wipes her face. "Thank you for reassuring me."

"You should sleep, too."

"But I should make sure Saitou-san is all right when he wakes up."

"I can do that."

"But—"

"I can spare some time."

"All right." Chizuru nods. "Then I'll make you something to eat because you just got back." She bows again. "Thank you, Hijikata-san."

She leaves, but not before hearing Hijikata muttering, "Sometimes I wonder who's the most stubborn one here. She gives you a run for your money, Saitou."

Hysterical giggling almost bursts out of her, which she stops by pressing her fingers over her lips.

_I'm just happy for everyone to depend on me._

**_._ **

**II.**

Saitou wakes up with the sense something is off. The room is dark, for one. Didn't Chizuru say she'd wake him up? He's not annoyed with her, so much as he is with himself. She was too kind, likely thinking more sleep, the better. That worked in theory, but not for him.

He sits up and starts to push the blankets away, only to have someone pushing him down and lighting the lamp.

"I need to be up—" He starts to say, reaching a hand out towards Chizuru.

Only it wasn't.

Distress, horror and embarrassment probably flash across his face as he puts his hand down, and tries to sit up again. "Fukuchou—"

"Don't get up."

"But."

"Can't you tell? You're sick."

"I'm—" His vision tunnels, then widens again, and he suddenly realises how his voice is half gone. "Fine?"

Hijikata sits back and crosses his arms, studying him for so long that he clenches his hands underneath his blankets. "No," he finally proclaims. "Absolutely not. I come back early and I go to find you, only to have Chizuru come running out to me saying maybe we should get an actual doctor because you wouldn't wake up."

His limbs feel like lead, as do his lips. "I have some of the paperwork done. It's the pile on the left, but I—"

"Saitou."

"…yes, sir?"

"That can wait. Someone else can handle it too."

"I cannot foist this upon other men who also have obligations."

"Then I'll wait until you're better."

"You needn't do that…" Not for _him_. That's contradictory of everything. He rolls over onto his side so that he can at least prop his head up. "I apologise for being unable to complete my tasks before you returned."

"Then I might as well be apologising for the whole Shinsengumi, seeing how we're not at our best."

"Fukuchou, that's…" His voice trails off. "That's different." Saitou glances down at the floor.

"Not all that different."

He says nothing.

"Saitou."

A finger taps the side of his face; he lifts his head.

"You do more than enough, and without you here, I'd have a lot more to worry about. Don't make it hard on me when I have to watch you take on too much, only to sink underneath everything because of my mistakes."

_They're not mistakes, though._

"You look like you could scold me, and yet you also look so defeated." A soft chuckle. "Very few people can pull that off. Congratulations for being one of the few"

He hopes his ears aren't red. "Thank you for your concern."

"Of course I'd be. But if I ever see Chizuru running for me, looking the way she did, I might even order you to take a week off."

He can't imagine a week, much less two _days_.

"She left some food for you, but it's gotten cold…"

"That is fine." Slowly, he finally sits up and doesn't get told to lie down. They just wanted him to stay in this bed, it seems. "Where is Yukimura?"

"Asleep. She looked exhausted herself." Hijikata gives him a pointed look again. "You scared her."

"I will apologise when I see her."

"You know that's not the problem here." Two rice balls are suddenly handed to him. " _Eat_."

Saitou hurriedly does that. Strange how good a simple mixture of seaweed, rice, sesame seeds, and pickled plum can taste, if you haven't eaten the whole day. When he started feeling dizzy, he stopped eating because he was afraid. But it seems as if not even rasetsu can sustain just on a blood.

He chews slowly, slightly self-conscious because Hijikata is there. It's not the first time, but that's his leader. This isn't proper.

Still, it's nice to be in his company, especially after all these times. Hijikata still depends on him. His place is still here. He's one his last bite when someone stops at the door, calling out for him.

"Yukimura?"

"You're awake!" Chizuru, usually so polite about entering, practically shoves the door open to get to him. "Thank goodness…"

"I apologise for worrying you." He gestures. "I'm better now."

"I hope you're not thinking about getting up later to work."

"I—" he glances at Hijikata. "No, I'm not." There's a sort of aura in this room. A hit of smugness, maybe. But mostly relief. He shakes his head. "I will sleep soon."

Chizuru presses the back of her hand to his face, until she seems sure he's not feverish, before she finally pulls away. "I'm happy you're all right, but Saitou-san…can you not do that again?"

Saitou nods. "I will do my best."

He'll have to work harder in the future, to not worry people. There's nothing he can do about bloodlust, but anything else, that's in his control.

Watching Chizuru and Hijikata talk is always something of a curiosity. She'd been quite nervous, almost silent upon her arrival. Then again, they did give her a bad impression…

But she's found her place. It's clear. No one ever speaks of her leaving or being dismissed. She's told him before that she doesn't have elsewhere to go, but he also thinks she doesn't want to go anywhere else. The Shinsengumi isn't for normal people…yet she's not "normal."

"Saitou."

His shoulders jerk sharply.

"When we leave, you better not think about getting up and going over there—" Hijikata looks at the desk. "Those stacks of books and papers are remaining the same."

He didn't say "that's an order," but he might as well have.

Saitou braces himself on his hands. "Understood."

"You didn't have to do that." Hijikata grips his shoulder. "Sometimes I don't know what to do with you. Or without you." His hand lingers, and Saitou recognises it for what it is.

He remains firm in his belief that he's placed his faith in the right leader.

**.**

**III.**

When he said, years ago, that he'd be a samurai, he had no plans with anyone else. When he made a promise with Kondou to see how far they'd go, he had no idea they'd become known for what they are today. Even if it's rather underwhelming now, with all the obstacles they keep running into. At least they haven't been forgotten, and at least they're pushing for their dreams. But when it comes to pushing…he's pushing all of them so hard. They stumble, they fall; they pick themselves back up to keep running after him.

It's a little unfair of him, especially when someone like Saitou suffers. He wonders if Saitou had been the sort of child to get something as small as a papercut, and not go to anyone for help. Was he taught that there was strength in silence? He didn't think it has anything to do with being a samurai; Sano hit Heisuke on the head once and Heisuke shrieked long and loud about how much it hurt until Shinpachi threatened to hit him harder.

It's just a Saitou thing. A Saitou problem.

Saitou is sneaking glances at him, as if he's gauging Hijikata's mood and his concerns. Surprisingly, he feels almost calm. The way Chizuru had ran to him made him think the worst, but it's passed, as has the irritation. Saitou's awake, he's back, and once he gets out the door, he'll have to bear his responsibilities once again…so this is a break for him, too.

"Fukuchou, how were the meetings?"

"Oh, those?" He shrugs. "All right."

They could be better.

"Some people don't listen every while," he elaborates. "And some might come around, but others don't. Kondou-san is still…he's still trying to figure some stuff out. I'm doing my best, but I think even our time here might be limited, so we do what we can."

"Perhaps if I—"

"I'll think about adding on to your duties once you get rest, eat, and don't look ready to fall over." Hijikata knows it's rude to interrupt and he's done it so many times tonight, but if he didn't get a word in, Saitou will offer himself so earnest he'd feel guilty about refusing. "You…you guys have it harder."

The rasetsu, he means.

"I don't understand all of it, but I respect your choices, and that means taking into consideration what you need, too. Everyone benefits that way."

Hijikata knows he's not the normal sort of leader. The Shinsengumi has always been odd and set apart. Saitou is left-handed, and he made sure no one said anything about it (Saitou also made sure of that). Sure, he yells a lot and he knows he's been a little hard sometimes, but everyone who stayed, they wanted to.

"I wished I noticed earlier," he says now, while rubbing the back of his neck. "But I can't have eyes everywhere."

He would say things like "I don't want to see you this tired, it's not worth it just for me. You deserve rest," but…those words wouldn't come.

So instead he lays his hand on Saitou's shoulder once again. "If by tomorrow, you look better, then you can get up. If you need more rest, you'll take it."

"I understand."

Some of his men, he wonder if they'll make it past their thirties. He thinks of Heisuke and Souji and suddenly he has to turn away to make sure his face is composed.

"Good night, Saitou."

Chizuru also bids him good night, and then turns to Hijikata.

"I have something I want to tell you." He picks up his coat. "And a request."

She starts, but nods.

They walk a little further before he speaks again. "I hope you rested, too."

"I slept a little, but I was too worried."

"Saitou doesn't seem like the sort to be worried, but we worry _because_ of that."

"He's…special."

Special is one way to put it. _Stubborn_ is the word that still comes to his mind. "How long did it take you to persuade him to rest?"

"He nearly fall on me…and a little more."

"More meaning…"

She flushed. "Yes."

Not in a million years would he believe Saitou would hurt her. Chizuru standing stiffly, looking away, with a hand pressed to her face—that meant something else entirely. However, it's not his place to ask, nor is he comfortable enough to do so.

"He's come to depend on you. That's good."

"Is it?"

"He could use it, in my opinion." Saitou, dependence, and loyalty were things he considers seriously, so seriously that Hijikata wonders again how he was raised. "So keep it up. Make him rest when he has too. I doubt our work will suffer."

Chizuru bows to him. "I will."

It's almost curious, almost humorous, that she takes his word as seriously as Saitou does. "There's a few more hours before the sun rises, so I'll let you go."

"Thank you." She turns, but then stops. "Hijikata-san, were the rice balls all right?"

"The…" oh. The ones he gave to Saitou. "Yes. They were."

"The _konbu_ tasted all right?"

"It was fine."

"But since I didn't put that in, you didn't eat them, then…"

He mentally curses. "…you tricked me." He can't believe how sheepish he sounds.

"I had a feeling you might give them to Saitou-san to eat, so—" She gestures at the kitchen. "I made some more. And some tea."

Hijikata is glad no one is around to hear them. Never did he think someone would pull that on him. "I've become predictable."

"No, no." She clasps her hands together. "I just…thought of it. If you had eaten in them in the first place, then I would take the ones I saved to Saitou-san."

"That just means you thought of everything." Which was…very _nice_. "Thank you."

"Y-you're welcome."

He can understand why Heisuke's had a thing for her a long, long time, and maybe even why she seems to be fond of Saitou. The world might claim no time for sympathy or kindness, but when it's there, you were drawn to it, like moths to a light. A lot of bloody killers, with supposedly high and good intentions, but still murderers…and a girl who stayed for years.

"Saitou's in good hands," he murmurs.

"Hijikata-san?"

"Oh, nothing."

If they ever wanted to leave, he'd grant them that. They already earned it.

**.end.**


End file.
